so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
