Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
