you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
