so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
