drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
