I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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