Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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