is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
