NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
