he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
