he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
