worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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