there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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