It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
