Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
