it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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