Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
