Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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