this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
