You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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