Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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