if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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