its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
