Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
