I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
