She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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