can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
