one might say we're banned from that church
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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