Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize