Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
