Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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