so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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