Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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