I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
