Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
