Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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