yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
