dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
