Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
zippers are such a cool invention
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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