Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
