do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
