I'm laying in your front yard are you home
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
