I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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