the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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