This is not my ceiling
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Mom said you looked used
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't turn off my feet"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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