so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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