Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
