But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
