FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
