You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
