just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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